Monday, January 30, 2006

Finding Wisdom in Community

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
  • Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat poop in the glue on envelopes - cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
  • I now also scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
  • Because of your genuine concern, I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
  • I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
  • I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
  • Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
  • I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet with no arms and no legs who is about to die in the hospital (again).
  • I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program.
Yes, I am so overcome with gratitude to all of you for looking out for me, that my only response can be to return the favor.

If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 3 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (PST) tomorrow afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

(With heart-felt appreciation to my daughter Jo, who forwarded this to me.)

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