Satan Sends an Emoji

In the Olden Days, Satan would phone church people and personally congratulate them when they took on tasks normally reserved for him. “You’re doing one helluva job. Keep up the good work!”

Life is busier and more complicated these days, and so, wanting to keep up with the times and technology, the Devil is now sending diabolically clever emoji’s to signal his approval.

The task at hand, as always, is two-fold:

(A) Demoralize church leaders to the point where they quit.

(B) Failing that, surround said leaders with enough toxicity that they can only survive by building walls of protection around themselves.

For example: in the Olden Days, a well-timed phone call — preferably during Sunday lunch — which interrupts a leader’s family time with a barrage of criticism. Meal-time ruined; leader’s motives, gifts, and passion called into question; spouse & children witness the carnage, which in turn (dis)colors their view of church. Perfect!

The caller hangs up, tingling with a rush of self-righteous adrenaline — “I really gave them a piece of my mind held them accountable.”

And Satan sends an emoji.

For those eager not to miss out on the bandwagon, there are many ways to earn these congratulatory dopamine-enhancers (far more satisfying than a mere “like” or “retweet.”) Here’s a partial list:

• A Declaration Of Defamation shows up in a leader’s mail slot in the church office, from that most-prolific of all letter-writers: “Anonymous.”
• The recurring line-up of the usual suspects outside the pastor’s office, eager to grind their Axe of Agenda because the pastor has (in their opinion) somehow failed them God in a recent sermon.
• The young worship leader — after investing hours and hours in practice, prayer, and rehearsals — is informed that numerous people plan to boycott worship because they don’t like (a) the volume, (b) the drums, (c) the songs, or (d) (fill in pet musical peeve here).
• Or the equally disemboweling dagger: “You’re not anointed” or “you’re leading from ‘the flesh’ and not from the Spirit” (because these people can discern a worship leader’s heart and motives, just like God can).
• The prickly email sent from a parishioner with a laundry list of complaints spiritual concerns, speaking “on behalf of a lot of people” (to give their criticism added weight).
• Those who delight in spreading gossip under the guise of ‘concern’: “You know, a lot of people are saying [blank] about you behind your back—I just thought you should know.”
• The grumpy person in the lobby—arms crossed, brow furrowed—compelled by All That Is Holy to accuse the leader of being aloof, unapproachable, or “looking defensive” (while remaining blissfully unaware of the irony).

This is only a partial list. With time, effort, and a little creativity, the possibilities and permutations are simply endless. The Enemy appreciates the additional help. Be diligent, and don’t ever take your foot off the gas pedal.

And Satan sends an emoji.